What to Get the People Who Have Everything and Need Nothing
Some Wise Women weigh in on what to get your parents and grandparents for the holidays this year
Meet Blanche, my colorful and opinionated grandmother, who’s the official poster child for elderly relatives you don’t know what to get for Christmas.
As you can tell, Blanche was surprised and delighted by whatever we got her for Christmas 1993. She had only ripped off a tiny portion of the wrapping paper before she closed her eyes and said, “Ohhhh,” an exclamation of oh-so-satisfaction that acknowledged we had somehow managed to find a gift that hit the spot. The fact that I even have this photo suggests it must have been one of those “I can’t wait til she opens this” gifts that had us poised with a camera to preserve her reaction for posterity.
I wish I could tell you I remembered what this gift was. Judging from the box's shape and size, I suspect it was a Mr. Coffee maker (he was the in-house java king before Keurig came to town). Blanche loved her coffee but clung to an old-fashioned percolator that didn’t brew very good coffee. Blanche was one of those people for whom old habits die hard–she wouldn’t buy a new coffee maker as long as the old one was still working. But now with this gift, she wouldn’t have any excuse not to enter a world of better joe.
Blanche’s reaction to this gift is the one we all dream of–giving something to our loved ones that delights them. But coming up with gift ideas for the geezers in your life can be challenging. How do you gift the people who don’t need more stuff with something meaningful? Now that you have your big girl/boy job, the $5 World’s Best Grandpa mug from a Secret Santa shop won’t cut it.
In the interest of trying to do you a solid, I racked my brain to catalog all the gifts I’ve given my elders over the years. Plus, I consulted my very own panel of Wise Women who’ve tangled with the gifts-for-geezers challenge for years, too.
So–let’s peek into Santa’s sack of potential gift ideas:
Subscription to a local theater’s season of shows
For years, Wise Woman Marylynn and her siblings bought her mom two season tickets to Philadelphia’s Walnut Street Theater and then took turns joining her for one of the five performances. Once my parents retired, a pair of tickets to a weekday matinee gave them five reasons for a day out. Most theaters offer discounted packages when you purchase season tickets, and some offer a senior discount. If a season’s worth of shows is beyond your budget or you’re not sure your geezer will enjoy all of the shows, many theaters offer gift cards, allowing your geezer to choose a performance that suits them.
Skylight photo frame
My daughter Cassie came up with this brilliant gift idea for the grandparents–a Skylight photo frame. This touchscreen digital picture frame lets you share photos with your loved ones almost instantly from anywhere in the world. Now she, her sisters, and cousins can easily share pictures with the grandparents via the free Skylight mobile app or email (no account or subscription required). It’s like a magic mirror in the grandparents’ living room that gives them a peek at their offspring’s adventures. If your parents or grandparents aren’t savvy enough to follow you on social media (or you don’t want to encourage this behavior), Skylight provides an effortless media feed they will enjoy.
Concert tickets
Grandmom might not be up for tickets to Beyonce, but you’d be surprised at how many artists from the 60s, 70s, and 80s are still touring, typically at smaller venues that are ideal places for geezers to take in a show. One of the best gifts we ever got my mother-in-law was tickets to see Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell, and Fabian. Since she grew up in South Philly during the 1950s when these neighborhood boys became teen idols, Liz squealed like a teenager when she opened her gift. Just flip through your geezers’ CD collection, casually ask them who they liked to listen to back in the day, or think about the artists you were forced to listen to on long car rides growing up, then google to see if they are touring in their area in 2024.
Gift certificate for a family photo session
Last year, my daughters gave us a gift certificate from my favorite family photographer so that we could get an updated family portrait. If you were in grade school or high school the last time your family got a group photo together, here’s your chance to get those awkward family photos of you off display. Your siblings may be willing to chip in on this.
A day-out experience
A day out with you as their tour guide might be the gift geezers secretly want the most. Offer to take Grandmom and Grandpop downtown to see the Christmas light show. Or maybe Pop-Pop would enjoy lunch and a visit to the golf museum. Perhaps Mom-Mom would get a kick out of having lunch with you at a cat cafe. The destination doesn’t matter–spending quality time with their child or grandchild is the real attraction.
Restaurant gift certificates
Whether for a fancier restaurant you know they like, or a new one you think they might enjoy, these are proven winners. Geezers don’t need to be foodies to appreciate this gift. My mom is so tired of being in charge of what’s for dinner that she’s happy to have any excuse not to cook. Wise Woman Courtney stays away from the chains because she knows her parents appreciate nice restaurants; I, on the other hand, know that my parents will be just as happy at Applebee’s or Red Lobster. But you’ll have a sense of what your geezers like best.
Dinner In
Wise Woman Rachel reports that she’s gifted her geezers with prepared meals in an insulated tote from local farms or specialty delis. Or, if you’ve taken your cooking skills up a notch now that you’re fending for yourself, you could volunteer to be their personal chef for an evening while you’re home for the holidays. (They’ll be telling their friends about that gift for weeks afterward.) Or how about a gift certificate to Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, or some other meal delivery service?
Gifts that remind them of their happy place
Arcadia Publishing specializes in photo-rich books capturing the essence of small towns across America, and they might have one about your geezer’s old hometown. Perhaps a local gift shop features t-shirts, throws, or other merch celebrating their town. I’ve gotten my dad and my father-in-law shirts from their high schools. Wise Woman Rachel reports she found laser-cut wooden coasters with patterns featuring beach tags from her in-laws’ favorite beach destination. There are plenty of ways to be creative in this category.
Consultation with a genealogist
My mom spent years researching our family history, but she’d already exhausted Ancestry.com and didn’t need any more photo albums. I discovered that the Historical Society of Pennsylvania offers one-hour consultations with a genealogist on Zoom. It was a little pricey, but well worth it, as it helped my mom get past some of the dead ends she’d hit. Maybe your siblings would be happy to go in on a group gift?
Movie Tavern gift certificate
Maybe Grandmom and Grandpop are content most of the time to watch Wheel of Fortune or stream movies from home, but surely there will be a movie they would enjoy seeing on the big screen. Geezers grew up seeing movies in theaters, so this gift gives them a chance to go out just like in the olden days. A Movie Tavern gift certificate takes it up a notch beyond overpriced popcorn–they can have a snack or meal and a show.
Register them for a craft class
Our local nursery has classes where you can make a seasonal wreath or some other craft, and your local Michael’s likely also offers the same. It gives Mom-Mom something to do, and then she’ll have a new wreath to hang on her door at her assisted living facility. (Bonus points if you take the class with them.)
Photo calendar or other photo-themed item
Snapfish and Shutterfly have made turning your photos into memorable keepsakes easy. Though curating family photos will require some effort, this gift will surely be a winner. Hint: Enlist your siblings or cousins, and you can divvy up the work.
Make them a piece of art
Wise Woman Courtney says a painting by her daughter is one of her most memorable gifts. Likewise, I appreciated when my daughter Susannah surprised me with a canvas featuring some of my most famous sayings. (She also did a calendar one year.) If your mom still has that Christmas wreath you made in third grade, this is your chance to take it up a notch with your more highly developed artistic skills.
Membership to a museum, botanical garden, zoo, or other places they might enjoy visiting multiple times during the year
Memberships can be an invitation to routinely kick back, especially if your geezer has more leisure time on their hands now. Who knows–these institutions might offer a discount during the holiday shopping season or throw in a mug or a tote bag you can wrap up.
A gift card to one of their favorite stores
Wise Woman Andrea suggests the ultimate Hail Mary pass for gift-givers. Let’s face it–you’d probably have just as hard a time choosing a sweater for your mom as she would picking one for you. Your gift card gives her an excuse to buy herself something new.
A solution for a problem or challenge that bedevils your loved one
Wise Woman Rachel reports that her daughter researched fast-food menus and made a list of dairy-free, gluten-free, and soy-free foods. Then, she printed the list on cardstock so she could keep it in her car’s glove compartment. This gift is an excellent chance to demonstrate your problem-solving skills while expressing your care and concern.
If you’re still stumped…
Sometimes, a person’s favorite gift to give is the same thing they enjoy receiving. So consider what your difficult-to-buy-for geezer has given you in the past.
No matter what gift you get your loved ones, remember it truly is the thought that counts. As I noted, I can’t remember exactly what we gave my grandmother for Christmas in 1993. Ultimately, you or your relatives may not remember what you give them for Christmas even a few years from now. But they will remember how your gift made them feel. Good luck with your shopping!
Katie Couric, journalist and former anchor of the CBS Evening News, asked the many remarkable people she'd interviewed over the years to share lessons from their lives. The result was The Best Advice I Ever Got.
Stay tuned for more samples from The Best Advice I Ever Got in the next issue.
In the olden days, moms used to clip articles from newspapers for their kids if they thought it was something they needed to know. I’ll be keeping an eye out for things that you might have missed that may be helpful to you.
This week’s clips:
How much money should you spend on the holidays? The Cut’s financial advice columnist provides some food for thought.
How feasible is it to find work you really love? Entrepreneur Paul Graham ponders the many aspects of the question.
Adam Grant, author of the new book Hidden Potential, says we underestimate the range of skills that we can learn and how good we can become. Take a fun 10-question test to identify your strongest character skill.
Next Issue: Time, treasure, or talent Coming in with an assist for the change you want to see in the world