The Schmuck in My Office

Joanne McHugh
Jan 03, 2025
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Front cover of The Schmuck in My Office
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Dr. Jody Foster explains how her book about schmucks–stupid, foolish, or unlikeable persons–came to be: “Already a psychiatrist when I started business school, I was suddenly surrounded by people who found even commonplace interactions compelling. They were fascinated by their coworkers, and it was fun for me to explain the various permutations of office drama…They came to me with tales of people they called real schmucks: those they neither liked nor understood.”

According to Foster, “The title refers to the frustration and annoyance that so many of us feel when we just don’t understand someone or why that person is behaving in a way that doesn’t make sense to us. It’s easy to get angry and label someone a jerk or a schmuck.”

Foster says, “It’s much harder to try to understand the underpinnings of why he or she approaches the situation that way. But we must try, and in so doing we will learn about our colleagues and ourselves and create a safer, healthier, better-functioning workplace.”

Workplace Schmucks: The narcissist is an attention-grabber. Vain, needs admiration, sensitive to criticism, doesn’t understand other people’s feelings.
How to Deal: “If there is one thing to remember about any Narcissus, it is that what appears to be flagrant arrogance hides a very fragile person struggling to feel significant.”
How to deal: “Appealing to this person’s egocentricity can be very effective. The occasional recognition of the person’s achievement, strength, or values may go a long way in avoiding anger or demeaning comments…As difficult as it feels to cater to Narcissus, remember that you do it because the other options are even worse.”
Workplace Schmucks: The Bean Counter may be (a) simply unable to delegate tasks; (b) utterly self-righteous in his assertion that only he can get the job done right; or (c) offer the pretense of delegation but will correct and control every last detail.
What to Know: “Water-cooler gossipers call him a ‘control freak…’ Bean Counters are everywhere, and often get promoted beyond their capacity to manage…Bean Counters usually don’t think they’re doing anything wrong,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
How to Deal: Express appreciation of their dedication while emphasizing your own. Never promise more than you can deliver. Take responsibility for mistakes, avoiding rationalization or defensiveness. When evaluating their work, normalize mistakes and point out that perfect can be the enemy of the good, according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
Workplace Schmucks: The Distracted have a frustrating difficulty paying attention. Make careless mistakes, have problems with listening, and find it hard to follow instructions. Struggle with organization and evince a pattern of being late, forgetful, and losing things.
What to Know: “Not every Distracted person has ADHD. Many just have trouble with organization, time management, or procrastination. The Distracted often feels incredibly helpless and frustrated with himself. He’s not acting distracted to make your life harder–he’s living hard himself. The Distracted have been characterized as good at jobs that involve creativity and spontaneity instead of recurring tasks,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
How to Deal: “Assign small, achievable projects with step-by-step tasks. Increase engagement in the job by having imaginative and creative components. The preferred management style is clear, patient, and predictable, without overbearing micromanagement. Encourage the Distracted not to overcommit themselves, to finish one task before starting the next, and to seek out help or delegate work as needed,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
Workplace Schmucks: Mr. Hyde is struggling with an addiction. Exhibits a change in behavior from the way he used to act at work. Starts failing to meet obligations; will be late or miss a day or more with poor and unverifiable excuses. His performance is likely to become erratic.
What to Know: “The best approach is to be direct yet caring as you begin to address the problem…The most effective time for a discussion is immediately following an obvious problematic event that is likely related to substance use. If your questions are asked in a gentle manner, even if Hyde doesn’t agree at the time, he might eventually come back for help. A Hyde compelled into treatment by an employer is more likely to recover from his problems than someone without such a reason to get help,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
How to Deal: “Confront assertively but emphatically, ideally closely following trouble at work. Be prepared to provide direct examples of increasing problematic behavior over time. Although Hyde is responsible for behavioral change, reinforce that you are there to help. Document conversations and agreed-on plans to avoid future distortions. Be firm with limits and consequences, potentially using Hyde’s job as leverage to encourage them to enter treatment in concert with HR and/or Legal,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
Workplace Schmucks: The Robotic: Rigid, inflexible, has difficulty communicating with and understanding others. Full of opinions and has no ability to filter what should be said when or to whom. There’s only one way to think about things, and that’s his way. Offends constantly but has no sensitivity around doing so.
What to Know: “The Robotic will have difficulty holding a job because he is often seen as weird and not likable, mainly because of his problems in social communication. The Robotic’s style of interacting…might be totally off-putting, frustrating, upsetting, or infuriating. Try to understand that this isn’t necessarily about you. Remember, the Robotic’s difficulty comes not from intending to harm anyone but from not understanding interactions. Often, they may not even know that their behavior or language has been hurtful,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
How to Deal: “Effective communication is clear and concrete; written instructions may be preferred to verbal; one-on-one meetings are preferred over group meetings. Minimize distractions in the environment; provide access to private space. Rigid, predictable schedules and explicitly defined tasks are ideal. Use the Robotic’s propensity for rule following to your advantage in delineating what is appropriate behavior in the workplace,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
Workpace Schmucks: The Suspicious: Always on the lookout for harm, exploitation, and deception. Judges relationships in terms of their degrees of loyalty and trust. Avoids sharing info and holds frequent, lengthy grudges. Tends to think there’s foreboding meaning behind things others would find to be neutral. Quick to perceive character attacks by others.
What to Know: “The Suspicious tend to form ‘circles of trust’ with insiders and outsiders…Work spaces populated by the Suspicious tend to become mills for gossip and rumors about what things ‘really mean.’ This individual always seems aggressive, blames others for his own problems, and thinks that everyone else is causing the mess. Because of his constant misinterpretations of words and actions, it becomes very easy to misstep and get into conflict with him. By establishing yourself as a ‘straight shooter,’ you will have a tremendously easier time with the Suspicious,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
How to Deal: “Be clear and direct with communication and provide transparent rationale for decisions. Offering a choice between alternatives can help the Suspicious feel more in control. When addressing inappropriate behavior, use simple statements with simple explanations, taking out the fluff or extraneous info, without being confrontational. Treat any threats or implications of violence with the utmost gravity and engage the appropriate authorities,” according to Dr. Jody J. Foster.
Am I the schmuck? Is it me? When someone’s behavior bothers us, we have to ask ourselves: Why is this behavior affecting me this way? When having interpersonal difficulties, you must always ask yourself what, if any, contributions you may be making to the situation.
What to Know: ”If someone chronically gets under your skin, get away from the situation, sit down, and take a look inside yourself. The intensity of your emotion is a hint you can use to realize that it’s time to do this–something about this person is rousing something very personal in you,” said Dr. Jody J. Foster.
What to Know: “Workplace relationships are just another type of relationship between people, and they need to be built on openness and communication. We need to be honest with ourselves and with others,” said Dr. Jody J. Foster.