Friendship literally saves our lives

Marisa Franco explains how to nurture these essential connections

Mar 18, 2025

Psychologist Marisa Franco grieved brutally when a burst of promising romance ended in disaster. To recover, she started a wellness group with a few of her very best friends and discovered she’d devalued the significance of friendship in favor of romance. Franco says, “Platonic love lies at the lowest rung of the hierarchy our culture places on love. But I’ve learned it’s a devastating loss to us all if we dispose of it there. I wrote this book because I’d like for our culture to level this hierarchy.”

Express vulnerability to strengthen friendships

“While we often think of vulnerability as burdening our friendships, it can instead ignite or deepen them. That’s because, as much of the research suggests, we’re often cherished rather than devalued for our vulnerability. In one often-cited study that combined results from 94 different analyses, results indicated that the more people self-disclosed, the more liked they were,” said Marisa G. Franco.

“Vulnerability cements connection, not just because it leads us to be perceived as more honest and genuine but also because it conveys that we like and trust the person we’re interacting with,” according to Marisa G. Franco.

Express your needs to your friends

“We need to get comfortable imposing when we need to impose. Because if the other person is comfortable asking and we are not, even our healthiest friendships will jut unevenly,” said Marisa G. Franco.

“Being understood isn’t just about the other person putting in the time and effort to get us. It’s also about us making ourselves understandable,” said Marisa G. Franco.

Prioritize friendship

“It’s easy to scrap friends from the list. There’s so much we juggle from spouses, to children, to health, to work that never ceases. Friendship takes energy that we don’t feel like we have…And it’s not always clear that it’s worth it. But is is,” according to Marisa G. Franco.

“Out of 106 factors that influence depression, having a confidante is the most powerful. Loneliness is more fatal than a poor diet or lack of exercise, as corrosive as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Friendship literally saves our lives,” said Marisa G. Franco.

“Don’t take friendship for granted…Engrave friendship on your list. Make being a good friend a part of who you are, because a deep and true core that needs to belong lies within us all,” said Marisa G. Franco.

In the olden days, moms used to clip articles from newspapers for their kids if they thought it was something they needed to know. I’m keeping an eye out for things that you might have missed that may be helpful to you.

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